Saturday, October 11, 2008

Saturday 11 October 2008

An update on the life of Misery Guts, since I last blogged.

I've got new glasses, a la Elvis Costello. Everyone likes them, which pleases me, although they felt right from the moment I tried them on.

Didn't get invited on to "In It To Win It". Neither did Mark, who partnered me on "Sudo-Q". I deliberately got three general knowledge questions wrong on the test; he said he "messed up" a dozen! I'm beginning to think there really is no point in applying for any quiz/game shows produced by 12 Yard. I put so much effort into my audition and for what? Brussel sprout. I'll be interested who, if anyone, appears on the show from my audition. This may sound bitter, and it isn't because I've said it before, but "In It To Win It" is a perfect example of the dumbing down of TV. They don't want intelligent people on it because it would cost them a small fortune.

We got a Wii and I'm addicted to the Sports one and Super Mario Carts. Mrs Cat loves Guitar Hero III but I just can't get into it. She's also managed to knacker the Whammy Bar already - does anyone know how to fix them? The Tennis on the Sports edition is really getting me fit. Every night I run around the living room daft, sweating like Michelle McManus in Greggs.

Had a week off in September. Money's tight so we've been sampling various caravan/holiday parks over the last couple of years. This time it was Seton Sands, or as I preferred to call it The Jeremy Kyle Caravan Park. Full of jakey fuckwits with tattoos, nae teeth and Rangers tops (and that was just the women). We took advantage of various free/discounted tickets we were able to get through our respective places of work. We got £5 tickets for East Links Family Park, which I can highly recommend, although leave the Jelly Belly to the kids - I nearly broke my neck on it! (We completed a quiz while we were there and we've won a free family pass for October so we'll be off there again soon over the next couple of weeks). We also got to see Dirleton Castle for free. We didn't bother partaking of any of the on-site entertainment at the Caravan Park. There's an on-site chip shop that charges £1.80 for a bag of chips!!

Still doing the hospital radio show and recently I broadcast the interview I did with Michaela Tabb, as well as a Joe Meek special to celebrate the anniversary of "Telstar" being number one.

Pop bands I like and am not afraid to admit it: The Sugababes, Savage Garden and A1's "Caught In The Middle".

New records purchased/received:

1. Various - Ripples Volume 3: Autumn Almanac
2. Various - Ripples Volume 2: Dreamtime
3. Various - Ripples Volume 7: Rainbows
4. Various - Ripples Volume 8: Butterfly
4. Various - Scotbeat Volume 1: Don't Look Down (thanks Lenny)
5. Various - Scotbeat Volume 2: She's Nice People (thanks Lenny)
6. Various - Scotbeat Volume 3: Psychedelic Shortbread (thanks Lenny)
7. The Fabulous Artisans - ...from red to blue Singles Collection (thanks Neil)
8. Various - Here Come The Boys 2: In My Imagination
9. Various - They Were Wrong: Joe's Boys Volume One
10. Various - Ripples Volume 1: Look At The Sunshine
11. Jackie Leven - Night Lilies
12. Jackie Leven - Cretaures of Light and Darkness

A lack of motivation has meant I've not being doing any competitions or prize draws lately but that didn't stop us receiving a free Pearl Jam CD from Ben I got £3.53 for it from on eBay!

Gigwise, I've been to see Ronnie Spector (The Arches, Glasgow) and in a couple of weeks I'm off to Perth to see Jackie Leven, for the third time this year. I went to see Ronnie Spector on my own but was delighted to meet a long lost friend Stuart Cant on the way in. The guy is a legend in the Edinburgh. He ran so many great clubs; Twiggy, The Top Ten Club, Baby... We went to see One Thousand Violins together a lot, although he saw them loads more than me.

Thank christ the train strike is over. The bus regulars couldn't get in their normal buses for all the Train Refugees taking up the seats. Fuck off back to your cattle trucks.

People who currently annoy me:

1. The selfish twat on the 55 bus who always sits behind the driver and places his bag on the adjacent seat. He puts his mp3 player on and then pretends he's asleep so that no-one takes the seat beside him with the bag on it. Even when the bus is mobbed and loads of people are standing he makes no attempt to shift his bag. Hey pal, your bag doesn't have a ticket, so fuckin' shift it. He also has this annoying habit of dumping his apple cores in the Used Ticket receptacle. If I'm struggling for a seat I deliberate target his bag seat. You should too.

2. Life Property Management (LPM), or as I prefer to call them, Licence to Print Money. Robbin' unregulated bastards.

3. My local councillors, especially the Lib Dem cock who insulted me in an e-mail and then forwarded it to me by mistake. Have to lose votes in one easy step.

4. The Dunfermline (De)Press. A seriously dull, unimaginative publication.

5. The selfish, arrogant bitch who tried to bully her way through the traffic a couple of weeks ago at the Barnton. She tried to push her way in front of the car I was a passenger in. She then had the nerve to make some comment about us not letting her in. We shouted that she was just a bully. The biggest laugh was when she made out that she was going to take our registration down. Ha! For one, she was totally in the wrong and two, she obviously doesn't know who we work for. I tried to get her licence plate but she was driving like such an idiot that she was off before I could do anything. There was a phone number on the side of the car but I didn't get that either but it did say something about "Done and Dusted". Bitch.

That's better...


JC said...

you've got your mojo back!!!

Made me laugh out loud a few times....

office pest said...

Pleased to hear you're still alive and kicking MG. I might make a visit to your country soon. My better half is from Glasgow and has 5 mill+ relatives and of course they all actually know who each other are. As an Englishman I find the concept unbelievable but fascinating as well.
Go the Sugababes, and dear Joe Meek of course. When's the film out? I hope they get it 'right'.

Sky Clearbrook said...

I fucking love the Sugababes and I don't give a shit what anyone says. That said, their otherwise fantastic new song is utterly ruined by that "interpolation" of Here Come The Girls - a song so tediously overplayed, I have yet to hear.

Even Mark "Fucking" Ronson would balk at those hideous fucking parping horns on the original. And, anyway, Boots-the-fucking-Chemist, they are women. Not gurlllllzzzzzz. Patronising gets.

Sky Clearbrook said...

Mario Kart is really, really addictive. Playing online is a good laugh. It's like the start of Going For Gold when you find out who else in the world you're up against. They're all there waving at the camera.

The heat is on, the time is right...

Misery Guts said...

Thanks for the kind words - I'm touched.

The Sugababes have had some crackin' singles - Overload, Freak Like Me, Push The Button, Red Dress etc. A few duffers too but they piss all over Girls Aloud. Totally agree about Here Come The Girls. It's one of those songs that, although I like that genre, that particular track annoys me, a bit like "My Girl" and "Somebody to Love".

Going for Gold is coming back. They were auditioning in Edinburgh last Thursday but it was too short notice for me. I have however assembled a 6-person squad for "Eggheads", if only to that CJ a right good kickin'. In fact, I was go as far as to say, and I don't say this lightly, CJ annoys me more than the guy on the bus with the bag and the apple cores! An appearance on Eggheads would bring m TV and radio quiz/game show appearances to 19. I'm such a media whore.

The Joe Meek film should be out soon and I can't wait although i elieve that Ralf Little's in it and that's not a good sign. There's just no excuse for the godawful "Two Pints of Lager..." - it's the modern-day "Last of the Summer Wine".

Anyone going to see Attic Lights in Dunfermline? £6 a ticket can't be bad. Hell, even terry Wogan has played there last two singles. The current single "Wendy" is also available with about 50 other names, including Paul (that's me!).

Sky Clearbrook said...

Re "The selfish twat on the 55 bus".

If you're referring to the emaciated, tattie faced cunt I think you are, I wouldn't sit next to that fucker even if the seat next him was the last one in the universe. He stinks of biscuits and stale milk. Makes me want to fucking puke.

Misery Guts said...

Worzel Gummidge and Stig of the Dump wouldn't sit beside him.

I pinpoint seat hoggers for sport - those gits who place their bags on the seats of rush hour buses to stop people sitting beside them. Unless they can prove their bag has a ticket they can move it. 'Tut' at me or give me 'tude and you'll get it with both barrels.

My "sport" has been curtailed of late because my travelling companion insists on those side seats. And if you thought I had issues with the buses you should hear her when she goes off on one.