I HAVE NO BANANAS

Thursday 6 March

WMESB™: The D7 was late and the X57 stopped at the wrong stop at the West End of Edinburgh.

The traffic was horrendous last night and the X54, after nearly being taken out by a dickhead driver just after Craigleith, finally pulled into the Ferrytoll Park and Ride around 1740. When we got there, there was a police car present and a woman was being spoken to by a couple of Fife Constabulary’s finest. My D7 turned up so I was able to find out what was happening but I heard something about the female passenger interfering with the driver – oo-er missus!! She didn’t seem the type but it takes all sorts. (Stop Press: She was a South African woman who thought the bus driver was speeding and started kicking up a fuss!! However, the police worked out that she counted have seen the speedometer from where she was sitting!! What a loony!)

I was more worried about not getting home in time for my big TV appearance. I made it home only for the weather to turn and the ensuing wind and rain interfered with the telly picture. The Flickster was delighted to see her daddy on the box but the poor picture spoiled it somewhat. Thankfully, I’m getting it taped by a couple of people. It’s also available on BBC iPlayer for a week. It’s episode 8 of “Brainbox Challenge”, under “BBC2, Page 2, Brainbox Challenge, Episode 8” if you haven’t seen it. I’m on halfway through.

I then checked my e-mails to find sympathetic comments from John and Archie (he reports on Scottish football for the Sunday Times). Even more surprising was some e-mails in the Jock ‘n’ Roll inbox from a couple of people who watched the show and then checked out the Jock ‘n’ Roll website as a result. It’s amazing how humiliating yourself on national television can get you publicity.

Someone at work e-mailed me this morning to say, “I know the camera adds 10lbs on you but how many cameras were on you. Lucky I was watching in wide screen.” That’s just cruel! Also, if I’ve heard one banana comment this morning, I’ve heard a whole bunch of them. It’s a good job I can laugh at myself. Ha-ha-bloody-ha!
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The Daily Record has been giving away a different children’s TV DVD every day this week. I cut out yesterday’s token and took it to RS McColl’s. The guy handed over the “Thomas the Tank Engine” one and then asked if I wanted any more because he “had loads”. He grabbed a handful of each of the ones from the previous days and handed them over. I’ll keep one of each for The Flickster and then give the rest to her nursery/pre-school. What a nice guy I am. I wonder if he’ll do the same tonight. (Stop Press: Tonight it’s “The Wiggles” but he gave me those yesterday). Tomorrow it’s “Fireman Sam” and on Saturday it’s “Bob The Builder”).
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Some sad news has just come through. The priest, who married the GLW and I, has passed away in Barcelona, whilst in the city for the match against Celtic. God bless you, Monsignor David Gemmell, you were a gent.
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A complaint to the BBC: “Viewers in Scotland will be unable to watch tonight's "Ashes To Ashes" because of live football coverage. When will this episode be shown or will viewers in Scotland be shown the series a week behind the rest of the country? I don't understand why the Rangers game couldn't have been shown on BBC2 Scotland. Not everyone has access to Sky (to watch it an English BBC channel) or a computer (to watch the show on iPlayer). I look forward to your comments.”