BOBS AND PIECES*

WMESB™: This morning's D7 was so late that it came along in tandem with the next D7. Had to check it was the one that goes the direct route, rather than the long way. On the way home I entered another stupid driver. I got on and said, "Number 2, please" and handed the ticket to him in such a way that he could easily slot it into his punch machine. "I can only do one on this ticket", he says. I look at him as if to say "what the fuck are you on about?". I wonder if he's misunderstood me so I explain that my ticket only gets punched once because my journey in split in two and I transfer at the Ferrytoll. It dawns on me that he thinks I'm trying to pay for one of the two old dears getting on behind me. I point out that the ticket is only for me. He then gets a bit of an attitude because I look at him as he's a moron, which he is. You pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Four crosswords posted today - Scotsman Crossbar, Express Crusader (including the word Epicurean, which is the name of an album by The Orchids), Express Big Monday Crossword (because it's big, it comes out on a Monday, it's a crossword and it's in the Express) and the Bare Bones from the Mail on Sunday. Finger's crossed.

There's a programme called "Caledonia Dreaming" on BBC 4 on Friday about the Postcard Records label. Essential viewing for indie kids everywhere.

I get an e-mail from Mojo to say my prize is finally on its way. I haven't had this much trouble getting a prize since I won a load of stuff from The Big Issue over a period of months and then spent the next 18 months chasing them for them. (I even won a John and Norma Major jigsaw!) I haven't bought it since as a point of principle.

Over the weekend I wrote a lot of questions for two quiz nights I'm doing in May. Both are paying gigs, which is nice. On Sunday, I wasn't in the mood at first but then I went and got the papers and did all the comps and crosswords. For some reason the Express have binned the NPN (No Purchase Necessary) routes for their magazine comps. Must ask them why.

The GLW's Amazon order finally arrived and I got my Valentine's Day present, which was "Meet the Eels - Essential Eels", the CD with the free DVD of videos.

I received an application form for "Goldenballs". Between the GLW and I we have three quiz show forms to complete. A job for tomorrow night methinks. We've thought about the "Postcode Lottery" show, fronted by Carol Smillie, but we don't know three brainy neighbours. Actually, we don't know many of our neighbours. Maybe we should hold trials and the three brainiest (obviously the GLW and I are gimmes) will join us. The problem is that we've never seen the show because it clashes with University Challenge.

I can't believe that Dave, friend and co-founder of Jock 'n' Roll, tried to phone us during University Challenge tonight. That's bad enough but it was the first of the semi-finals. We ignored it and rang him back straight after it. He told me he been on a train from leeds and got chatting to a guy who in the band End Games, had played on "Sons and Facsination" and got off his head with The Associates.

The shortlist has been announced for the UK Eurovision entry and once again my head is in my hands. Another ensemble of Z-list wannabes and reality show rejects has made the final six. I'm only surprised that Lisa Scott-Lee isn't one of them. The "name" amongst the list is Michelle Gayle and she'll be up against two girls groups; The Revelations and LoveShy, Andy Abrahams, an X-Factor runner-up, and Rob McVeigh and Simona Armstrong, two also-rans from the hideous BBC Joseph and Maria shows. Sadly, the show will have the same strung out formula as so many other shit shows seem to have just now. The show, called "Eurovision: Your Decision" goes out in two parts on 1 March. Of course, I'll be watching it but I'll be on pills of some description!

* The Flickster gets "bits and bobs" and "bits and pieces" confused and comes up with the title of today's entry. God bless her.