EELS LIKE I’M IN LOVE

Tuesday 19 February

WMESB™: Another day, another late bus and another stupid driver who doesn’t know what the number 4 looks like. I ask him to punch 4 and he punches 5, the muppet. The D7 used to be sharp enough to sometimes catch the 55; now it struggles to catch the X57, which is still continuing to stop at the Learmonth Hotel. The Operations Manager is going to look at the registration of the X57 so as to make it a permanent stop on the route.

Work wasn’t particularly exciting today and I took the opportunity to tidy up some paperwork and do some filing. I wrote to Orange to get a copy of my itemised mobile phone bill because I’ve started to receive reverse-billed text messages. I received a text from TalentText on Friday afternoon asking me if I wanted to audition for the next Harry Potter movie. I was to text STAR to 60999. I knew immediately it was a scam so I put “60999 text scam” into Google and I found that the number has been used a lot for various expensive scams. I found a website for a company called Talent Text and sent them a strongly worded e-mail informing them I would take legal action if I received any more of these texts and would be looking for recompense. So far, they haven’t responded.

I got the 29 to George Street after work, alighted and then attempted to cross the pedestrian crossing at the junction with Hanover Street. I let one set of cars go and then step on to the crossing. A car in the second lane decided he didn’t want to stop at the crossing and tried to drive straight over it. He got stuck in traffic and he was half-parked on the crossing. I slapped the back of his car to show my annoyance at him failing to stop. As I got across I turned round to give him “daggers”. He proceeded to give me the middle finger. As I turned to approach his car he drove off, only to get stuck on the roundabout as he turned towards Hanover Street. I crossed the next at the top of Hanover Street and he passed me again. This time it was his female companion who using the abusive gestures towards me. I was fuming all the way home, mainly because I didn’t get their registration plate. I did however send off a two-line letter to the letters page of the Evening News expressing my anger at these two morons.

Things got worse. On the way to the Ferrytoll the X54, after a game of ‘after you, no, after you’, allows the D7 to go into the Ferrytoll first. This is the D7 I connect with and tell the X54 driver this. He peeps his horn at the D7 driver but he doesn’t hear. I tried to make a run for it but the D7 driver decides not to stop to see if anyone on the buses behind wants to transfer to his bus and he speeds off. My fury is doubled, nah trebled, and I spend the next 15 minutes marching up and down angrily. The complaint e-mail is written in my head as I fume even more.

I managed to calm down by stuffing my face with some comfort food, namely boiled eggs and toast. I feel better.

The rest of the evening is spent writing some more stuff for The Scotsman and I even sent an e-mail to Ian Hunter (he of Mott the Hoople fame) and Max from Splodgenessabounds. The chances of an immediate response from Ian were crushed when I noticed from his website he was actually in Edinburgh playing at Cabaret Voltaire. Max Splodge answers my query, via Stretch from his website, and he’ll feature in one of my forthcoming pieces.

“The Silver Shadow” (name changed so that quiz show producers don’t think he’s a pro even though he isn’t), who I went on Sudo-Q with, has another audition on Friday. I had a form for the same show but I’ve been so busy with writing articles and quizzes that I haven’t got round to it. He gave me a heads up on a show he’d been on and what happens at the audition so I know what to expect because I also have a form for it. I MUST fill it in tonight. I need the GLW to complete her form for “Are You Smarter Than a Ten Year Old?” too because I think she’d be good on it.

I watched “Watchdog” on iPlayer before heading downstairs for “Shameless”.

Wednesday 20 February

WMESB™: The driver punched the right ticket – hurrah! The bus was on time – hurrah! That’s as good as it got. A man, for reasons best known to himself, decides to leave a massive gap at the front of the queue at the Ferrytoll and then can’t understand why everyone overtakes him to get on the X57, which he also gets on. Then he commits another cardinal sin. He sits down and then places something on the adjacent seat so no one else can sit there. Normally I would target that seat deliberately but after all the hassles of the last two days I didn’t want the stress.

I calm down with “Meet The Eels” on the CD player (the £8 one from Tesco!!) and I’m chilled by the time I get to work.

My Mojo prizes still haven’t turned up yet and I’m getting a little bit cheesed off about it.

Iamkloot, one of my favourite current bands, are playing in Glasgow on Sunday 27 April so I’m going to take the opportunity to enjoy my second cross-country gig trip. Gaz is up for coming too so I’ll have company. No idea what the parking situation is like near the ABC. I might just bite the bullet and use a car park. I believe it’s only £2 maximum on a Sunday. My experiences of driving in Glasgow haven’t been great so far, so god knows how we’ll get on. We’re off work the week after, in the run up to my birthday, so it won’t matter if I have a late night.

I flick between the Brits, the Celtic v Barcelona game and Crimewatch. I wonder for about two seconds how my predictions for the Brits went and then I realised that I couldn't give a Falkirk. If the Celtic game had been a boxing match it would have been stopped. Barcelona were merciless but having said that two of their goals came directly from Celtic errors and were therefore preventable. Then again, I don't support them so what do I care? In fact, I'd have been better off avoiding the Brits and the football and concentrating on some writing. I can watch Crimewatch on iPlayer.

I'll do an hour's work and then have a shave. Promise.